It starts with a camera.
I love Photography. Every kind. Landscapes, abstract, pets, action shots, events, you name it. But more than anything, I love photographing people.
I love being able to capture the unique spark that makes a person who they are. Capturing those moments that define the legacy that will be left through their life.
Photographs create a canvas to display God’s most beautiful creation. It’s not found in the airbrushed beauty that we pass on billboards everyday. It’s not in the photo shopped girls in bikinis that more than anything just need to eat a sandwich.
I’m talking about the beauty that comes in the wrinkled face of a Cambodian fisherman and his grandson. The hope that is found in the eyes of an African child as he’s handed a bar of soap for the first time. The overwhelming love in the embrace of a husband to his new bride.
This is the beauty that God has created. It’s what moves and motivates us. And it is one of the deepest desires of my heart to share the beauty of God and his world through the lens of my camera.
Throughout the past few months, I’ve begun to be slightly frustrated with my camera. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been more than blessed with Gypsy II (yes, she has a name). She has been simply amazing over the years, going everywhere with me. Cambodia, Australia, the jungle in Bolivia, and deep into the underbelly of Buford GA. She has been nothing less than a dear old friend.
But as you grow in photography, there comes a time when your camera has to grow with you. This wouldn’t be such a problem if photography weren’t such an expensive profession.
Now before we go any further, let me explain something about myself.
I hate spending money.
I mean… I really really hate it. One of my little biweekly joys comes from depositing a hard earned paycheck into the bank and watching my savings get just a little bit higher. Don’t get me wrong though. It’s not a matter of greed, it’s about security.
Every time I spend money, even the smallest amount, all I can think about is the inevitable disaster that will bottom out my back account. And of course if I had just skipped that one rock climbing session, I would have saved the $15 that I needed to keep me going.
It’s a sickness.
So needless to say, spending the amount of money it takes to buy this new BEUATIFUL camera I’ve had my eyes on… Well, that’s going to take a miracle.
So I began to pray.
It actually took me a while to start praying about it. I figured there were much bigger things to lift up to the Lord, and I was just fine with the camera that I’ve had. But the more sessions that were booked, the more frustrated I became. And finally it got to the point where I was just grunting my frustrations at God.
But God hears even our little rants and raves and He responds.
Within 24 hours of what I felt was the selfish prayer of a frustrated girl, a friend on facebook posted that he was selling the exact camera that I wanted. This doesn’t happen. No one sells their used 5D Mark II. There is simply no reason to part with them.
So I immediately took this as an answer to prayer and contacted my friend about the price.
Now, used or not, this camera is still way more money than the pit of my stomach will allow me to spend. Especially on myself, investment or not. But the cool thing about this particular camera is that it was being sold so that the owner could raise support for his life in full time missions.
That’s something that I can get on board with.
My money wouldn’t simply go into a store or to some weirdo that is trying to scam me on Craigslist. It’s being sown into the work that God has planned for Seth. I'd get my new camera and my money would be going to do the work of His Kingdom? Two prayers answered at once.
Except it didn’t work out.
Things fell through with Seth and I was actually pretty distraught. I really felt like the Lord had set things in motion for me and had been working on my heart to be willing to spend the money. It almost felt like he was teasing me.
But if I know anything about my God, it’s that he has a purpose for everything he sets in motion.
Ok, so bare with me on this one. I know I’m kind of rambling, but I had to give you a little set up for you to understand how incredibly awesome it is to see God answer these prayers the past couple days. Don’t stop reading, cause this is where it gets cool.
I woke up Monday to an email from Yahoo about the cyber Monday deals. I nonchalantly decided to flip through them for any Christmas ideas for my impossible-to-buy-for brothers. And low and behold, there was my beautiful camera on sale at Best Buy.
For the same price I was going to get it used.
Brand new.
With a one year warranty.
Um… awesome hand of God?
You would think.
But of course the first thing that’s going through my head is “No way can I spend that much money right now! I have Christmas to pay for, Passion coming up, I’m about to need new tires on my car, my hours are slowing down at work, and I have dental work that needs to be done. Not to mention the whole getting married thing and needing ten thousand dollars of support just for the first six months of the next 7-10 years of our life in missions!”
And God sat me down for a little Father/Daughter time.
This is what he said to me.
“LeeAnna, you need to learn to depend on me, not on your pile of money in the bank. It’s good to have savings, it’s good to be prepared, but not if you’re using it as a cushion of security to sit on. I’m your provider and if all you’re doing is allowing that money to collect dust because you’re too scared to use it, even when I’m telling you to, you’re storing up your treasures on earth, not in Heaven. I want to use you and that camera to build my Kingdom, and if you don’t learn to trust me to provide for all of your needs, we’re gonna have a problem.”
So I added the camera to my cart, put in all my credit card info…
And sat there staring at the “submit order” button for about 10 minutes.
With my dad sitting there and Scott’s prayerful consent, I decided to push the button. But not before one last prayer.
“God, if I’m doing this, it’s because You said to do it. I’m trusting you to provide the money to either build my savings back up or to get me what I need moment to moment. You’re gonna have to come through, cause this is a big freaking leap of faith for me.”
And I hit purchase.
(Big Sigh)
I flip over to facebook to distract myself so I don’t hyperventilate and there’s a message waiting for me from Kim Kidson. She is an old friend who just recently became engaged to her wonderful fiancé and asked me to shoot their wedding.
That's right.
Within 30 seconds of printing off my receipts, God provides. And not just any session, but a wedding for a beautiful friend with her wonderful family in Cape Town South Africa next August. I couldn’t be more excited.
And it gets better.
The same day I book a portrait session, a Trash the Dress session (so excited!), and Pregnancy Session, a Family session, and potentially another wedding.
Confirmation from God?
I would say so.
The funny thing is, I realize how blessed I am for God to confirm it so fast. Often times when we follow God’s direction, when we take that step of faith beyond what logic might tell us, we don’t know what we’re stepping into. God’s control over the situation is not always so obvious. Now He is a God of peace, and there’s confidence that comes from knowing the voice of our Father. But what a blessing to have him confirm it in me so quickly.
He is truly our provider.
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